The Tank

An average but inoffensive monster genre film from New Zealand. A family inherits an abandoned coastal property, but unknowingly awakens an ancient monster that terrorized the inhabitants for centuries. It's a little slow to get going (nothing really interesting happens for the first 40 minutes), but with the arrival of the monster on the scene it's fine. The practical effects are very nice, with the people who created the orcs in Lord of the Rings working on the monster, so it looks good. But there's just a lack of characters that it could possibly eat (when one does appear (the sheriff) we still don't get to see the gore). Rather, it relies on suspense and atmosphere, something that worked back in the 90s, but nowadays doesn't impress anyone. I appreciate the effort at least. 5.5/10. (04/28/2023)

A few incidents with endemic species on an inherited seaside estate, and the couple from the pet store start losing their love for fauna. How typical... A clunky start, indifferent characters, and difficulties in finding anything original, fresh, or unpredictable. Perhaps the only thing of note is that after the horrific event, they headed straight to the car repair shop to get their shot-out rear window replaced. A minor plus for the creatures that looked like Captain Grishnákh from the orcs met Mrs. Demogorgon at a party and became interested in a completely different kind of hole than the one he wanted to make in the hobbits' bellies. (08/01/2023)