Machete

Machete is one of those action movies that do not provoke or offend me, but honestly speaking, they don't particularly impress me either. The exaggeration is to blame for the former, which is likable and allows me to forgive the traditional shallowness of the action movie script. As for the latter, it's due to the stereotype, because Rodriguez keeps filming the same thing over and over again, and I admit that he earned most of my sympathy with his amateur debut made for a few hundred dollars. Moreover, casting someone like Danny Trejo in the lead role is more than daring, because he is a strictly typecast actor who can handle small roles, but fails miserably when it comes to delivering something substantial in a big ensemble. The script is traditionally shallow and simply exploits the established action clichés, beautiful girls, cynical killers, and a bulletproof action hero. It has all been done a thousand times before. Overall impression: 50%. (03/08/2011)

Typical Rodriguez: self-absorbed, wallowing in unnecessary perversions at the expense of a better developed story and the characters themselves, who under his baton are nothing but necessary figures without a sense of humour and exaggeration. And neither Danny Trejo's rugged expression, who is only in the film anyway because of his sharp machetes, nor Robert De Niro's villain, who is at least a pleasant refresher in Rodriguez's absurd world without boundaries, can change things. But it can’t be denied that the film is brutal action entertainment, very funny at times and that Jessica Alba's sexy backside is worth more than a dude hanging by his guts. If it was made by Tarantino, he would certainly have brought the necessary mafia touch to the story and steered it on the right action track, and Machete may have been an unattainable genre gem. As it is, however, it's just a shabbier little brother to Stallone's more stylish and straightforward The Expendables. (09/03/2012)

So, that little grindhouse flick that was shadowed by Stallone’s The Expendables turned out to be something completely outrageous that knows no limits. A perfect dose of trash and self-awareness. Trejo! Seagal! Alba! De Niro! Fahey! Lohan! Rodriguez! Rodriguez! While The Expendables fool around… (09/27/2010)

A crazy barrage of cringe-worthy situations and such clichéd and bad jokes that, in the end, it actually worked and slowly became a cult classic, at least for me. It’s abundantly clear who Robert Rodriguez's spiritual father is, as Tarantino’s unmistakable style is immediately recognizable. The film is teeming with one famous name after another, so everyone gets their moment. Danny Trejo doesn’t say much; instead, his beloved machete speaks for him. Such a plethora of truly original ideas is rarely seen, whether it’s using intestines instead of ropes or mounting a rotating machine gun on a souped-up motorcycle. Like, seriously, this isn’t a normal, everyday thing. The story can be considered absolutely ridiculous, but that’s exactly the point. It’s hard to say what makes this film stand out so much. The very concept of a machete-wielding killer sounds outlandish, but the execution turned it into a brilliant piece. Add to that the beautiful Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, who balance out the brutal male violence, and you’ve got a perfectly balanced hit. I give it 84%, and I might add more over time. Now I’m gearing up to watch the second installment. (08/17/2018)

–Cuban? –Mexican. It’s such a shame that Rodriguez didn’t have the balls to shoot the whole of his Mexploitation flick as crudely as he filmed the über-muthafucka prologue... I found that regrettable until the scene with entrails. The film’s superficial refinement only draws attention away from the self-confident (and self-conscious, as evidenced by the involvement of the uncensored internet) contempt for common sense, good taste and every conceivable kind of political correctness. Machete is an exploitation movie for multiplexes, but that doesn’t mean that it would lack machetes, machine guns, boobs, gore, sexy nurses, a murderous nun, a one-eyed avenger, Steven Seagal, Tom Savini and a  pissed-off Mexican with a weed whacker. You can either accept this film in all its simplicity and bombast and enjoy the ruthless fun, or look for a more sophisticated view of the world. This time, I’m giving a strong four-start rating and posing a simple question: why always complicate things? 85% (11/18/2013)