Machete

They should have stuck with the fake trailer. It serves up imaginative action and catchphrases in every other scene, but the whole thing is kind of... sterile. And boring at that. Lost among the geysers of stylishness is a plot that needed to draw us in more and give us more insight into the characters. I know, it’s all about a slightly different genre and intelligence rules, but even when you have one of the ugliest people running around between Hollywood and Mexico in the lead role, you expect the fun to be a little more serious, or conversely, a little crazier. Like Planet Terror. (09/29/2010)

With similarly tuned retro images, it is difficult to find a reasonable line between piety, parody and seriousness, if I paraphrase the words of one of the protagonists: Machete didn't cross the line, the line crossed Machete. This film is the most entertaining and dullest spectacle I can imagine in the genre. If I’d had it on VHS in the 1980s, I’d undoubtedly have long hair, a black mustache and a sharpened machete. And a girl with one eye. [85%] (09/10/2010)

One question: Why isn't Tarantino in Machete? Now to the film. If I have to compare it to Planet Terror, Rodriguez's first grindhouse is better. Unfortunately, there is nothing in Machete that I didn't expect. Chopped off hands, gallons of blood, pretty to beautiful women and girls, their exposed breasts, the word "fuck" used so many times you can't even count them, jumping out of a window by your intestines... It's pleasantly wacky and crazy. But it's not original anymore, and it lacks juicy dialogue. Danny Trejo, of course, shoots, stabs, cuts with a machete and a wheedwhacker, Robert De Niro and Steven Seagal perform the same function as Bruce Willis in Planet Terror... But it's boring and not funny. (10/22/2010)

A great B-movie exactly in the style that resonates with me. It’s action-packed, gritty, blood-soaked, and with an excellent main character. Great scenes that I can still vividly recall in my mind. It's a bit of a shame that Rodriguez doesn’t occasionally dismiss the digital effects and instead opts for the old-school path of practical effects. It would fit quite well with a B-movie, even though it's a modern B-movie. But otherwise, I had a great time with it. (02/26/2014)

–Cuban? –Mexican. It’s such a shame that Rodriguez didn’t have the balls to shoot the whole of his Mexploitation flick as crudely as he filmed the über-muthafucka prologue... I found that regrettable until the scene with entrails. The film’s superficial refinement only draws attention away from the self-confident (and self-conscious, as evidenced by the involvement of the uncensored internet) contempt for common sense, good taste and every conceivable kind of political correctness. Machete is an exploitation movie for multiplexes, but that doesn’t mean that it would lack machetes, machine guns, boobs, gore, sexy nurses, a murderous nun, a one-eyed avenger, Steven Seagal, Tom Savini and a  pissed-off Mexican with a weed whacker. You can either accept this film in all its simplicity and bombast and enjoy the ruthless fun, or look for a more sophisticated view of the world. This time, I’m giving a strong four-start rating and posing a simple question: why always complicate things? 85% (11/18/2013)