VOD (4)
Seasons(8) / Episodes(73)
Plots(1)
Summers span decades. Winters can last a lifetime. And the struggle for the Iron Throne continues. It stretches from the south, where heat breeds plots, lusts and intrigues, to the vast and savage eastern lands, where a young queen raises an army. All the while, in the frozen north, an 800-foot wall of ice precariously protects the war-ravaged kingdom from the dark forces that lie beyond. Kings and queens, knights and renegades, liars, lords and honest men... all play the 'Game of Thrones.' (Home Box Office)
(more)Reviews of this series by the user Necrotongue (81)
The Door (2016) (S06E05)
Oh, how I used to love this show... The first Braavosi we saw was teaching Arya to sword fight, and now it seems she's leveled up to ninja training. The happenings in King's Landing are really starting to grate on my nerves—it's getting so ridiculous it's almost unwatchable. Thanks to the creators for the detailed medical interlude; I’m just hoping they don’t go as far as a prostate exam next time.
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Blood of My Blood (2016) (S06E06)
A total disaster. The plot was all over the place, and it seemed like logic just decided to take a permanent vacation. As for the goings-on in King's Landing, let's just say my thoughts aren't exactly PG-rated. But there were two things I did like: Little Sam's expressions and Daenerys casually pulling a dragon out from behind a rock and somehow transforming it into an obedient pet. Seriously, though, any trace of logic has completely vanished from this show.
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The Broken Man (2016) (S06E07)
I was thrilled when the creators cast Ian McShane, one of my favorites, only to be let down a few seconds later by his character choice. Then they surprised me again by quickly writing him out. That was quite a twist. I had hoped that logic might have survived its attempted suicide from the last episode, but it’s officially dead. And once again, we’re bombarded with more mind-numbing drivel in King’s Landing. What a mess.
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No One (2016) (S06E08)
Just when I thought the writers couldn’t top the previous episode’s lackluster plot, they somehow managed to outdo themselves. The corpse of logic is now well and truly decomposed, filling the writers' room with the kind of stench that breeds gems like handing over Riverrun without a fight, engaging in an athletic showdown with a freshly gutted stomach, and the ingenious use of a dragon for a tactical drop instead of torching an attacking fleet. This season derailed from the start, and its momentum is causing even more damage.
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Battle of the Bastards (2016) (S06E09)
I'm giving this episode my highest rating of the season because it packed two battles into one episode, finally giving us some action. However, I can't give it more stars due to the sheer amount of nonsense. For instance: where were the bulldozers that piled up the bodies so neatly during the battle? Why did Daenerys wait until half the city was burning before destroying the enemy fleet? Why did Jon act like an idiot in battle? Yara and Theon left the Iron Islands with a fleet of a hundred ships, which would require at least 2,500 crew members (assuming 25 per ship). This would make House Greyjoy the most powerful in Westeros, as most of their population stayed with Euron. Sansa's advice to Jon can be summed up as, "Why don't you ask for my opinion when I know nothing about warfare?"
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The Winds of Winter (2016) (S06E10)
I'm sorry, but a series without logic just doesn't work for me. Unlike the hardened Northerners, I wasn't moved or impressed by the scene of the new King in the North. I have many questions about this episode, but I'll limit myself to three: How did Monster Gregor get into Tommen's chamber? Where was the King's Guard? Who did Arya kill to get the face she used to murder Walder Frey? Despite the grand moments and dramatic twists, these plot holes make it hard for me to fully enjoy the show.
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Season 7 (2017) (S07)
I’m ashamed to admit that I was hoping for improvement after the previous season. Mea culpa. It really puzzles me why House Greyjoy doesn't rule Westeros when it is clearly the most numerous. Even though Yara and Theon sail away with a hundred ships, Euron's fleet fills the entire horizon, plus his ships sail around the continent at such a speed that Euron must have seen himself from behind several times. Only Daenerys' dragons can match that kind of speed, except they’re flying, so.. I didn't understand what happened to Littlefinger's brain (Alzheimer's? Dementia?) because his scheming got really lame and transparent, which is a shame.
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Dragonstone (2017) (S07E01)
I'm not seeing any improvement from the previous season so far. Arya's face-swapping shenanigans are starting to remind me of Fantômas. I did enjoy seeing Cersei redecorate the throne room and the royal guard, as well as Samwell's studies at the Citadel. But seriously, how many ships does Euron have? How is it that the Greyjoys aren't ruling Westeros with an armada like that? And how did Varys get back to Daenerys so quickly?
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Stormborn (2017) (S07E02)
I found myself laughing a lot as the dialogue was full of ridiculous lines. The experts in King's Landing needed an entire day and night to design and build an anti-dragon scorpion. The attack plans from Daenerys's coalition were so grandiose they almost overshadowed the Leyte landing. And Samwell Tarly must be related to the Boltons of the Dreadfort. Plus, the eunuch's night of passion – what would Varys say about that?
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The Queen's Justice (2017) (S07E03)
Episode three was beyond illogical; it was a disaster. Euron and his massive fleet, seemingly powered by some undefined form of hyperdrive, make the Kraken from Clash of the Titans look like a minor inconvenience. Whatever powers his ships also seems to work for infantry, allowing Jaime to lead a Blitzkrieg that would make Dolfi green with envy. And poor Sansa — it's bad enough Ramsay did whatever he wanted with her, but now she finds out her brother recorded the whole thing? That's a real downer.
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The Spoils of War (2017) (S07E04)
The writers returned to their reliable formula of meaningless conversations, with Littlefinger leading the charge. For comic relief, they had Arya, armed with her Needle, sparring against Brienne and her hefty sword — naturally, Arya handles it like a true Stark. And now, major spoiler alert: Guess who didn’t drown? The Emmy for Best TV Survival goes to... Bronn! Wow, what a load of nonsense.
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Eastwatch (2017) (S07E05)
No way! I had given up hope on the one-armed bandit, but they pulled it off despite the full plate armor. What a pleasant surprise. I realize I'm nitpicking, but how did the Lannisters get asbestos for their banners? I get that the creators wanted even the biggest idiot to understand whose army lost supplies to dragon fire, but am I really supposed to believe that wood and meat burned, yet the fabric didn’t? The only real surprise was Gilly. Who knew she was such a little scholar? I thought Jon was a Targaryen bastard, but now it’s clear he’s legit. Isn’t that awesome?
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Beyond the Wall (2017) (S07E06)
I was "thrilled" with the brilliantly written dialogues — Jon and Jorah debating over the sword had me thinking they should just sell it on eBay. And let’s not even talk about the painfully "funny" Hound and Tormund exchange. The trek to the pole was quite the adventure, almost felt like spotting Roald Amundsen himself. The nod to the first marathon runner didn't go unnoticed either. Littlefinger's scheming is now so weak it could only fool someone like Dontos the Red. And poor dragon, getting hit right in the engine by the Night King. I always thought it was perpetually freezing north of the Wall, but apparently lakes only freeze over when you're surrounded (WTF?). The moment they pulled the dragon out of the lake, it hit me—the Night King is basically the Lich King, his undead army is the Scourge, and Game of Thrones has turned into World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King.
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The Dragon And The Wolf (2017) (S07E07)
If only the plot of the seventh episode wasn't so painfully predictable. Even in the seventh season, some characters, driven by an "excellent" script, still think making a deal with Cersei is a good idea? Congratulations on the award for naivety. Bronn gave me a good laugh when he talked about the disadvantage of light cavalry while looking out from the battlements. But the top comedic scene was definitely Bran Stark's conversation with Samwell Tarly: "I can see things that happened in the past. I can see things happening now, all over the world. Why did you come to Winterfell?" Kudos to the writers for managing to contradict the first sentence with the very next one — that’s some award-worthy scriptwriting right there!
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Season 8 (2019) (S08)
The plot of Season 8 was extremely weak. It didn't surprise me after the previous shortcomings, but I still thought that the writers were taking a one-year break for a reason. This makes it seem like they just needed more time to totally twist logic to suit their needs. Disappointing, but at least it's over.
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Winterfell (2019) (S08E01)
After several previous disappointments, I never thought I'd give the opening episode of the final season more than three stars. But here we are. My concerns remain, though—probably because there were no action scenes for the writers to mess up. This episode was heavy on dialogue, mostly in Winterfell. While some of it didn't grab my attention, it wasn't terrible. Cersei must be a wild one in bed; poor Euron was so caught up in it that he didn't even notice he lost three ships. What happened to his soldiers and sailors remains a mystery.
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A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (2019) (S08E02)
In the second episode, the action basically boiled down to one deflowering. The rest was just a lot of talking. Based on my previous reviews, you'd think that would guarantee a three-star episode, but... The "unforced and random" encounters followed by "elaborate" dialogue got on my nerves pretty fast. And Brienne getting knighted really topped it off.
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The Long Night (2019) (S08E03)
Benioff and Weiss once again showcased their unique approach to warfare tactics, and this time, it left me almost tearing my hair out. I won't delve into all the nonsensical elements they threw into the battle frenzy. Let's just say the whole thing felt like watching a midnight scuffle between rival gangs in a tunnel - I caught glimpses of eyes and teeth but that's all I could see. Honestly, I think the screenwriters would've done better if, after the battle, two guards met on the walls and exchanged banter like, "That battle, huh?" "Oh yeah! Did you see how they kicked the Dothraki's asses?" Maybe I'd have a clearer picture of what went down. Hopefully, the fourth episode sheds some light on things because, amidst the inadequate lighting, I have a feeling some major characters met their end. But hey, who knows?
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The Last of the Starks (2019) (S08E04)
The fourth episode brought a welcome change - no more relying solely on audio cues; we finally got some visuals! But aside from that, it left me scratching my head. With the darkness lifted, it exposed a bunch of inconsistencies. Like, why would anyone let an army with long-range weapons just stroll onto their turf? And why wouldn't the enemy take advantage of that? I doubt Tyrion would hobble more than a hundred meters to the walls. Also, a deflowering took place, but given what we've seen in the past seven seasons, I'm pretty sure it was the only one left.
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The Bells (2019) (S08E05)
The whole city destruction thing felt like it was just to check off some boxes for the screenwriters. The plot was a mix of eye-rolling and funny moments. As we're nearing the end, the creators didn't hold back on the death toll. Cersei's refusal to surrender turned King's Landing into a modern-day Dresden, and the more sensitive viewers might've needed a tissue or two.
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