Machete Kills

Let me put it this way: a film that combines absurd scenes cut out of Indian action B-movies with a sci-fi plot and a bunch of overly digital and unintentionally funny deaths cannot be good. But where does it say that a parade of flashy machetes, underpinned by a straightforward story and supported by a group of perhaps the hottest actresses of our time (not counting GAGA) could not be entertaining and, as a very peculiar homage to the genre, perfectly refreshing? Anyway, this is the first time Rodriguez's mental insanity has entertained me, President Sheen is unbeatable, and I've fallen in love with the half-naked Michelle Rodriguez all over again, even though this time I really tried to focus on the film. And the third one is so tempting with its premise that I may even go to the cinema for the first time to see Master Robert :D 60% (12/28/2013)

This was a pretty dull blade compared to the first Machete film, which, in hindsight, feels like a masterpiece next to this one. It’s missing that wild, over-the-top finale where the bad guy gets his guts blown to bits, and there's no over-the-top poolside action where Machete proves he's the ultimate badass by seducing both the enemy’s wife and daughter. This time around, Machete just didn’t go all out. Sure, there’s plenty of killing, but it never quite hits that epic level. I’m giving it three stars purely out of love for Machete—and I’m really hoping that when he heads to space, everyone loses their minds. Including critics, who won’t understand a single scene and will probably declare that the writer lost it while wrapping up this trilogy. (12/28/2013)

Terribly stupid, but (again) unfortunately not in a funny way. That makes it even worse than the first film, which made me laugh a few times. This time all the bonus points were taken care of by Mel Gibson (Star Wars fan), but otherwise it’s a really terrible boring mess. And the third installment will most likely be the same thing, but with light machetes, clones... etc. Nevermind. (12/21/2013)

No, I thought it would be a bit better, that there would be a more meaningful story, that it would be exciting, but it's still quite boring here and there. Yes, there are scenes that I enjoyed, performances that pleased me - or maybe just actor appearances - but at times I just caught myself not enjoying it. It's a shame, although I still think that this is the way modern B-movies are supposed to look. If only the creators, including Rodriguez, ignored the digital tricks that simply look terrible. (11/15/2013)

This is no longer grindhouse, this is Asylum :-( The first part three years ago was a perfect homage to American trashy movies from the 1970s and I had it in my TOP 10 of that year. But this is something else. Without any restraint, reason or knowledge of what a healthy dose is, so basically unwatchable. If a Mega Piranha fell from the sky and Danny Trejo bit its head off, nobody would be surprised. Too much Rodriguez. (11/14/2013)