Necrotongue

I appreciated that the creators finally decided to kill off some major characters, but the execution left much to be desired. Interrupting the battle with the preceding events was fine, but the silly visions and strange states of some characters got on my nerves. And Halfdan’s stupid death — really, they couldn't have come up with anything better? He could have at least accidentally stabbed himself in the gut while shaving. Oh, and Ivar surviving it all? I need to try that myself.

At times, I felt like I was watching Game of Thrones with its absurdly fast travel. Hvitserk’s journey from Norway to Francia and back to Norway must have been divine intervention; there's no other explanation. And he still had time to negotiate with Rollo and prepare an expeditionary force. As for Alfred's bizarre coronation? That was a bad joke.

I decided to ignore minor flaws because the creators clearly tried to bring back what made the series great. The pre-battle negotiations and the battle itself were well-executed, and for the first time in a while, I was genuinely satisfied.

The episode wasn’t packed with frantic pace or amazing action. There was a lot of talking, but it was meaningful. Bjorn found a new bride, which was entertaining, and I learned how to properly castrate a reindeer. Plus, watching Floki try to establish a communist society was quite a sight.

The episode was full of unpleasant surprises. It started with a local sandstorm — by local, I mean it was confined to a tiny oasis while the surrounding area was bathed in sunlight. Floki gets to establish a religious community in Iceland, which I’m thrilled about (not). The peak of absurdity was Astrid randomly picking a messenger from the enemy camp to send to Lagertha, and he actually fulfills the mission. Brilliant move. And right on cue, Bjorn shows up again... Remembering how great Vikings used to be makes me sad.

I’m completely baffled by the story development again. How did Floki, the sly goat, make it from Iceland to Kattegat without any trouble? Oh right, the gods. I’ve never claimed to be a great military tactician, but even I wouldn’t come up with something as ridiculous as Ivar’s plan. I wonder if a renowned mathematician could calculate how many Vikings can squeeze through a narrow opening before someone chops off every head that pops out? Lame.

I was more entertained by what was happening in Norway, with fresh intrigue brewing in Kattegat and Vestfold. Bjorn’s storyline didn’t grab me at all, and I’m not sure if spreading the plot all over Europe and possibly beyond is a good move.

Yeah, I'm just not enjoying Vikings as much as I used to. The fight for York started off strong, and the traps were a nice touch, but then came Ivar's solo, the overly dramatic scenes with Alfred in "mortal danger," the annoying Bishop Heahmund, and Floki's festering journey. So, there’s that.

The creators really threw me for a loop with this one... I was completely baffled. The only part that made any sense was Floki’s voyage to nowhere, but even that was annoying. I couldn’t quite grasp what was happening in Kattegat. If Lagertha slept with Harald just for fun, fine, but if there was supposed to be a deeper meaning, it went over my head. Harald's escape from Kattegat was surely dramatic, but since those scenes might have been too nerve-wracking, the creators spared me from seeing them. And they deserve two stars for that.

The episode was packed with funerals (two) and farewells (four). But the real highlight was the demonic and cunning Ivar, who I find relatable because I could match his speed. Harald’s involvement hints at Lagertha getting back into the action. I was satisfied with the action scenes, especially in York, but I really can't warm up to Bishop Heahmund. I don't think I'll ever get used to his character.